Well I’m generally not a coffee person.
As a caffeine addict (and probably the worst the western world has ever known) I try to keep an open mind for any form of caffeine delivery system.
But even though some of them have interesting and complex flavors coffees, for me, are always more trouble than they are worth.
Let’s look at the reasons why:
1) You have MAKE coffee.
Cola can be grabbed and instantly ingested. No waiting for that sweet sweet caffeine to hit. Who wants to work that hard anyway?
2) You have to wait for coffee to cool down.
I have NEVER burned my tongue so badly on cola that I had to stop drinking for any amount of time. Sadly this happens all the time with coffee because, as you can see with reason number 1, I can’t afford to wait around for caffeine to become ready for me. I need it now.
3) You get about 6.5 oz for the same price as 135 oz of Cola
It’s simple math here people. Visit any gas station soda fountain and the value proposition becomes clear.
4) You kind of have to LEARN to appreciate coffee.
Meanwhile a 3 year old can easily testify to the inherent yumminess of Cola based beverages.
I don’t mind acquired tastes. I’m a big fan of Cigars and Bourbons… but again this takes precious precious time with which I could just as easily be getting “my fix”.
All that’s why I’ve always taken my caffeine cold.
(save a period of my college years that involved coffee as a prime study aid)
Enter my new boss.
He’s constantly asking me if I would like to join him on a trip to the coffee machine.
While I appreciate the thought I’ve constantly explained the above rant to him in an effort to stop this temptation.
He apparently finds pleasure in asking because it hasn’t dissuaded him.
And his coffee always smells so good.
The other day was too much….
In mid sentence of our product road map meeting he stopped.
Smiled a bit sarcastically at me and said “Do you want to go get a cup of coffee?”
I knew he was expecting a re-hash of the 4 reasons coffee is a waste of my time and my addiction… but instead I said “Sure that’s a great idea.”
It’s a coffee vending machine.
You know, the kind that drops the cup and pours what ever selections you made into it.
The same kind I sat next too during those college years.
I hit “Cappuccino” and the machine obediently started whirling away.
Something familiar about that sound… that smell. I looked around a bit to make sure I wasn’t actually in the LAEB basement at Purdue, and my entire post-collegiate career was some Arabica induced dream.
It was wonderful.
This Low-Grade Cappuccino-ish drink hit me like a piping hot glass of DejaVu.
So here I sit one day later.
My tongue is so badly burned I sound like the lady from “Throw Momma from the Train, but I’m drinking the stuff anyway. I’m on my second cup.
(hey after you’ve burned all the nerves the temp doesn’t really matter anymore)
Hooked once again to the cubical workers Cappuccino.
At least I didn’t have to make it…
