So … it’ s been a while. Sorry.

I’m still lacking a good recorder to do Audio Blogs.

And I’m still much to fat to continue to do Video Blogs.

So put on your reading glasses.

I don’t have anything terribly profound to share but I thought I would tell you two things I’ve come to realize in life.

1) Poker is a metaphor for life.

There are a great many things I’ve “been meaning” to do in life… and just haven’t gotten around to it. There are even a few that I NEED to do… but haven’t despite the obvious and negative impact on my life.

The same is true for my poker game.

Every time I play I make the same three mistakes.

I’m sure there are more … but these three are consistent and crippling. If I could stop them I’d play much better.

Since I’ve identified these mistakes you’d think that would be easy.

But I apparently haven’t gotten around to that either.

Last night I played with 18 guys.. got to the final table, but finished out of the money.

Beaten again… by my own stupid play.

So it is with life.

Dedication to promises I’ve made to myself just isn’t an attribute I’ve been able to muster as of late.

I’m not even sure what to do about it…

I’ve known about these poker problems for awhile… and it hasn’t mattered.

Maybe I need a long vacation to spend some time with monks and find balance or something.

2) Courage on behalf of others is easier than for oneself.

I remember a situation that happened recently.

The dog was kenneled and Jana came home to an empty house.

(a rare treat)

But as we walked inside something odd happened.

ALL The power went out. All of it.

And the house Alarm started screeching and wailing.

It was frightening. Both of us were sure that someone had cut the power and was breaking in.

(one too many episodes of CSI perhaps)

Anyway Jana made an instinctive move to go hit the code on the alarm.

I made an instinctive move too.

I grabbed her arm.

“Don’t move.” I said.

I picked up the deadly MAGlite that was by the door.

“If you hear anything weird get outside and take off.”

Then wielding my flashlight I walked into the house to face the would be intruders.

Of course there were none.

The Alarm stopped soon enough, and the power came back too.

We laughed about it.

But at least I had learned that in a time of crisis I was able/ready to step up and at least attempt to protect my wife and my home.

I learned the other day though…

That the protective instinct is altogether different than blind courage.

The other day I was home alone.

No one to protect. No one to instantly be more concerned for than myself.

I was washing dishes.

The Tivo was paused so I could return to the Olympics when I was done.

Halfway through the dishes though something happened.

A loud sudden screeching boom. And a definite male voice.

Did I spin around with one of the knives I was washing and yell

“Come on out you Son of a Bitch! You Picked the WRONG house this time!!”

No.

I spun around hands dripping, eyes wide, pants soiled, and ready to beg for my life.

Was this horrible sound something so convincing as a power outage and House alarm.

No.

The Tivo was out of pause sapce.

The TV started playing and I wet my pants.

God forbid anyone brake into the house when I’ve got no one to protect.

I’ll be useless.